Life is like a piece of cake

Where are the words - written by Davy Rasmussen
Song Lyrics


So there it was, proudly displayed in front of the bride and groom.  It wasn't just any wedding cake, this one was so tastefully decorated with butter cream frosting and with fresh rose petals placed perfectly all around it.  The two layer chocolate wedding cake was filled with a creamy, rich fudge between each layer and was exactly as the bride had dreamed it would be.  So was the entire wedding day leading up to this pinnacle moment.    But just one second later, she had tears in her eyes and stormed up the stairs to our guest room screaming, and left us, her groom and all her guests staring awkwardly at each other, thinking ...   "What the (&*(%*  just happened?"

Sometimes the biggest changes in our lives can boil down to one word, one action, one thought or the lack there of.  At that instant a new realty begins to develop and within moments the changes begin and we can never really go back again.  Many times we aren't even aware that we've cross over a threshold until the day when we look back and try to figure out how we got here,  and ask ourselves "What the (*&^(^  happened?"

Can you believe that 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.  I wonder if one word, one action or one thought could have prevented one of these divorces?   Or could one word, action or thought actually cause it?    

In the beginning of our 22 year marriage, I had a problem communicating.  I think a lot of men do.   I would hold things inside, let them marinate and season my feelings and eventually they would find their way on to the table.   The problem is, she was long done eating the meal and I was opening up a fresh dish of left overs.    My rebuttal to that was that I eventually shut down and just didn't talk and let the rug of time just sweep all the things we needed to talk about into the cracks in our relationship.  They widened with time and became more ugly with each silent treatment.   I'm so grateful for the day that I somehow saw through the cracks and realized that our foundation was starting to fall.   It was then that I began reading books about how Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and tried to become a better communicator and a partner in our relationship.   I still have a ways to go....

So let me get you back to the cake story.  This wedding day truly felt magical.   We had been planning and communicating with the bride and groom for almost a year and a half and finally the day arrived.   There wasn't a cloud in the sky.  The temperature was perfect.   There were well over 1000 butterflies flying around and landing on guests.    She looked like an angel walking from the bed and breakfast to our wedding gazebo and he stood proudly waiting in his tux and cowboy hat.   They spoke beautiful words to each other that were heartfelt and true.  After the lovely kiss, they had pictures taken and eventually worked their way back to the bed and breakfast for the cake cutting ceremony.     They toasted with a glass of champagne and something began to misfire in the grooms head.  They slice a piece of cake so they can have the traditional moment of feeding each other and the groom makes that one decision that changed the wedding.  He SMASHES the entire piece of cake into her face.  It felt like time went into slow motion as we gasped and waitedfor him to pull his arm back.  I thought to myself that this had to be something they had talked about and maybe planned to do.   No such luck.   She stands there in shock with chocolate fudge dripping down her cleavage,  frosting stuck to her cheeks, as if she fell into a snow bank.  He slowly pulls his hand away and all you can see are her blue eyes with big tear drops forming and a mask of chocolate cake and white frosting slowly dropping into her dress and on to the floor.    

The deafening silence that we were all left with after she made her exit was only broken by the few choice words we could overhear being screamed after the groom went up to apologize.   We finished cutting the cake into pieces for everyone to have and after 30 minutes of waiting and listening, it became obvious that our cake cutting ceremony was over.   I whispered to a few of the guest asking them if they wanted a piece of cake and they each smiled and politely said " NO Way.   I'm not having any."   Finally one of the younger guests picked up a plate and went outside to secretly eat it and word quickly spread that this was a cake like no other and soon one by one we all ate cake while we listened to the drama upstairs unfold.   Finally the groom comes down defeated.  Sharon goes up with a warm wash cloth, a comforting smile and a few stories of how men can be stupid sometimes,  and emerges thirty minutes later with a bride.